House of Zathras

I spent most of my Christmas vacation getting the kids’ rooms cleaned. The boys’ room especially. There were clothes all over the place. Clean, dirty, mixed all up.

Goob is the biggest offender. He had stuffed piled everywhere, including the closet where the dirty clothes was piled high into the hanging clean clothes. And he’d never do a whole load of laundry. Oh, no, just what clothes he needed to go to work. And maybe a towel. But that left a huge pile in his closet…which the cat found. And peed on.

So, I got everything cleaned and washed and forbade anyone to leave clothes on the floor EVER again. Well, apparently Goob felt the closet floor wasn’t really floor since you don’t really walk on it.

I picked up clothes again and warned him. And again. The third time I grabbed the clothes, threw them in a bag, and hauled them to my room. I later was bemoaning the events with BR over the phone. I didn’t want dirty clothes in my and BR’s already cluttered room, but I didn’t want to wash them just to have them thrown willy-nilly again on the floor.

BR told me to wash the clothes and do what what we used to do when the kids left toys and game controllers out on the floor: We charged rent for the child to get it back. And if they decided they didn’t want the item back, then they were charged a storage fee.

So, I can pick up the clothes to keep the cat from peeing on them (or me tripping on them in the middle of the night). I’ll clean them, fold them, and then charge a laundry service fee.

I love having a smart husband! I’d completely forgotten about the ‘rental’ and ’storage’ fees. And this way, *I* don’t get bent out of shape about the wall-to-wall clothes. And maybe all the kids will learn to be a little bit more responsible.

…or actually, my regular computer is. Major virus. MAJOR NEW VIRUS THAT NO ONE HAS A CURE FOR YET. Dammit. Bitterroot has worked hard on it…maybe even infecting his computer in the process of trying to find a way to fix it.

So, I feel really bad right now. *sigh*

I miss my computer.

And to whomever gets his jollies by designing these damn viruses to disrupt others’ lives…may Michael Jackson get his hands on you and make ‘Jesus juice’ out of you; may a thousand annoying little yappie dogs hump your leg and give you fleas; may your toilet leak into your tap water; and may your lube be alum  (at the 5:44 marker if you’re not sure of the reference).

No.  No freakin’ way.  Utah cannot win against Alabama.  CANNOT.  It’s like a personal affront after all the crap we went through fighting the pervert bitch and pervert husband and her pervert mother .

Yeah, I know that’s a stupid way to view the game.  But dammit.  It’s like Alabama forgot to even show up for the game.

21-0 and it’s only the FIRST QUARTER!!!!

This so sucks.

UPDATE the first:  Well at least Alabama scored 3 measly points.  At least it won’t be a shut-out.  Dammit.

UPDATE the second:  TOUCHDOWN!!!!  And field goal!  21-10.  Maybe I won’t die of apoplexy tonight after all.

UPDATE the third:  I know the problem…them Alabama boys were partying too hard in the French Quarter the night before.  Them Mormon boys don’t drink.  The Bama boys are just working off their hang-overs. And now they’re pissed.  Not a good combination for the other side.

UPDATE the fourth:  Screw it.  Utah gets possession starting the third and we have to kick from 15 yards up?  Karma hates me right now.

UPDATE the fifth:  BR says this game is going to make an Auburn fan out of him.

UPDATE the sixth:  Half-time fun.  Alabama (the Crimson Tide) has on a commercial promoting their college.  It runs something like, ‘Crimson is…..community.  Crimson is….innovation’.  BR and I have taken turns yelling out things like, ‘Crimson is…really embarrassing themselves.  Crimson is…eleven points behind‘.

Continued half-time fun:  The Alabama drill team/cheerleaders, etc…are better built.  What…no drinking and no boobs allowed?

UPDATE the seventh:  Yay!  Recovered the fumble!!!

UPDATE the eighth:  TOUCHDOWN!!!!  And FIELD GOAL!!!!!  Yahooo!!!!  ‘Bout damn time you boys showed up!

9th:  They couldn’t stop the Utah player…are y’all distracted by the bosomy Southern girls?  You’re around them all the time!  Forget about them for now!  Play some football!!

10th:  :(  I give up1!!  Utah got another touchdown!  I need a drink.

11th:  I didn’t mean Coffee!  Don’t want him down.  Dude, let one of the Southern girls come and kiss it and make it feel better.  If that doesn’t work, we’ll threaten to let one of the boyish Utah cheerleaders come kiss you.

12th:  I’m done.  Can’t watch anymore.  I’ll post a final score when I recover from the agony.

13th:  Why can’t I stay away?  Why am I doing this to myself?  ‘Cause Alabama has the ball again,  and it looks like some one in Texas is watching my semi-live blogging.  Have mercy on me whoever you are!

14th:  Coffee is back…and it’s not making a damn bit of difference.  I’m going to the bathroom.

15th:  Drowning my sorrows in a cold glass of milk and pecan pie.  This game is so sucky.  What has happened to Alabama?  To be losing so badly????

Update the last, because I am so DONE with this game.  Crappy video, but it goes so perfectly with these Southern boys playing a crappy game.   Now, without much further ado, ‘Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me’:

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a “curse” he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”

The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

And we’re having fried chicken with rosemary and garlic potatoes.  So very, very good.

But the best part?  The cherry coke.  REAL cherry coke.  As in Black Cherry Rum and coke.  You’ll never drink regular cherry coke again.  Promise.

Probably why we don’t go too many places en masse:

I’ve eaten my black-eyed peas for New Year’s.  Now, where’s my winning lottery ticket?

A blessing for you on this day of new beginnings:

The Lord bless you and keep you.  The Lord let his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.  The Lord look kindly upon you and give you peace.

-(from chapter 6 of the Book of Numbers, read on the feast day of Mary, Mother of God…which is today!).

Holy crap!  The year’s over already?

Damn, there’s still a lot of naughtiness I have to do before I make my resolution to be good for the next year.

For you BR:

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Barack is very disappointed with me!

I only scored 24 on the Obama Test

(H/T to Joel at On the Other Foot)