House of Zathras

Today, Saturday, is Mama Bear’s funeral. In her honor, I’m posting her favorite song by her favorite entertainer:

I will not become a member of the NEA, the teachers’ union.

Why?

Because of this one little phrase in their current policies:

 “The National Education Association supports family planning, including the right to reproductive freedom.”

Which of course, means abortion.

WTF does that have to do with my job as a teacher?  And why should I pay my hard-earned money to support something that is against my moral beliefs?

Ain’t happening.

I could so see Goob doing this: (somewhat NSFW)

…And finally that Thou will most graciously be pleased to dispose us all to do justice, to love mercy, and to demean ourselves with that charity, humility, and pacific temper of mind which were the characteristics of the Divine Author of our blessed religion, and without an humble imitation of whose example in these things, we can never hope to be a happy nation.

(From a prayer by George Washington, written June 8, 1783 and sent to Governors of all the States.)

We met with the priest today to finalize details for Mama Bear’s funeral mass. As we left, he told us that she is a saint in heaven.

Afterwards, we had to stop at the post office so BR could put in a change of address for his mom. While he started to work on that, I went through the mail from our PO Box. I saw an envelope from Buck’s school. I *knew* it was about tuition, and I didn’t want to open it. You see, we got behind in the past few years when we were battling all our court battles. Those costs were extraordinary, and then we had hurricanes and family deaths and a car accident and a job loss and oh so much stuff that kept us from getting ahead. The school principal was very understanding and told us to pay what we could. (It would have helped if LTS would pay child support…but we can’t wait till hell freezes over!)

Well, we paid in bits and dabs, but really kept getting further and further behind. It was so high that we realized we couldn’t send Buck back to parochial school next year and take any further advantage of the school. They have been more than fair.

So, when I saw the letter from the school, with the typical thickness that indicates the several pages of tuition charges, I almost didn’t open it. I didn’t want to be reminded of it with all that we’re dealing with this week. But something made me open it.

There was a cover letter with the tuition pages. Someone sponsored a scholarship that paid off the entire amount…over $15,000.00!!!!! I stood there in the post office in shock. I had my hand over my mouth, tears streaming down my face, trying to get BR’s attention by hitting him on the arm with the letter. His eyes popped wide open, fearing the worst after seeing my face. He shakily took the letter from me, then he, too, stood there in the post office with tears streaming down his face. (God only knows what the other patrons thought was happening to us!) We hurried out to the SUV to try to take in what the letter said.

The letter itself was dated June 30th…the day Mama Bear died. The actual envelope was postmarked on the 29th…but that was Sunday…I didn’t know mail could be postmarked on a Sunday. But BR and I just sat there laughing and crying about Mama Bear still taking care of us.

In the Catholic church, for a (deceased) person to be declared a Saint with a capital ‘S’, there have to be two verifiable miracles attributed to them. While we know our ‘miracle’ won’t be declared as such, it is good enough for us. Now we need miracle number two…so we joked that we’re heading off to buy a lottery ticket soon. That’d do for the second one. And with that money, we’d do two things for sure: 1) Give money to Buck’s school so that they can help someone else out and 2) Give money to a local unwed mother’s home, in honor of our Saint Mama Bear!

On the way home from Mama Bear’s, we decided to go through town and pick up some Chinese food and then try to catch a movie to try to get away from everything for awhile. Usually we catch an expressway to avoid town, and therefore don’t see a lot of what’s happening on ‘Main Street’.

Well today, right on the outskirts of town, was an new adult ‘gift’ store. BR and I have long been complaining about how our town is deteriorating (especially since Hurricane Ivan). We both had the same thoughts about the store.

Me: Awww, shit.

BR: Dammit. I can’t believe this is here in Whoville.

Me: Yep…everything’s going downhill.

*silence while we continue down the road*

BR: So…you want to stop and go in?

Me: Sure!

*more silence*

BR: You’re going to blog this, aren’t you?

Me: *big grin*

Don’t waste your time.  The best part of the movie was when I spilled cherry Coke in my lap.  And down my leg.  And in my shoe.  The funny dance I did at that moment was the highlight of the show.

Otherwise, it sucked.

-Mrs. Who, the movie critic who is trying to save two hours of your life and the cost of tickets and a soda.  So not worth it.  Stepping in dog shit is more delightful and doesn’t cost as much.

Today, at 3:27 PM, Mama Bear went home.

Thank you for your prayers, thoughts, and kind words.

Dearest Jesus, who wept at the death of your friend
and taught that they who mourn shall be comforted,
grant us the comfort of your presence in our loss.
Send Your Holy Spirit to direct us
lest we make hasty or foolish decisions.
Send Your Spirit to give us courage
lest through fear we recoil from living.
Send Your Spirit to bring us your peace
lest bitterness, false guilt, or regret take root in our hearts.
The Lord has given.
The Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Amen.

O sweet mother Mary,
who knew the sadness of mourning those your heart loved most,
Jesus, your Son, and Joseph, your devoted spouse,
pray for us in our time of loss.
Amen.

*****************************************

Now, we can go home and sleep in our own bed for the first time in over a week (longer for BR).  I know y’all must be tired of this ‘death blogging’.  I know I am.

Bless Mama Bear’s heart…it won’t give out. This is one tough lady. She has been in what’s basically a coma for over three days now. She has had nothing to eat for almost four days, and even before that it was in dribbles and dabs…averaging a bite or sip of sustenance per day. Aside from the effin’ cancer, Mama Bear was extremely healthy. She was always healthy before, but when the cancer was discovered, she made a concerted effort to be even more diligent about taking care of herself. She exercised and ate good foods, staying away from sugars especially.

Now that healthy body is desperately clinging to life. If you can call it life. Laying there in bed…non-responsive. And her heart keeps beating and her lungs keep breathing, despite the body’s having wasted away to practically nothing. But the organs were in such good shape that their inevitable deterioration is prolonged…I don’t want to go like that. I don’t want to do that to my family.

This is so hard on my husband. BR has been with here since her downturn, since about the 18th. Day and night, rarely leaving her house. And he hasn’t left at all for about a week. Folks, it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The devotion and loving care he has given Mama Bear…administering her medications, changing the bag from the catheter, cleaning her when she soiled herself, sleeping in her room and waking with every little noise she made. Keeping her from getting out of bed when she fought and railed, because she was too weak to walk to the bathroom, soothing her agitation…my God, it makes you weep to see such love.

Sometimes we pray the rosary at her bedside. Some non-Catholics misunderstand the rosary…they think it’s prayers worshipping Mary. It is not. (and don’t you have pictures of your Mama around your house, to remind you of her and make you smile? Doesn’t Jesus’s mother deserve that too? That’s why we have statues of Mary and/or the saints. Not to ‘worship’ a statue…that’s ridiculous. It’s a visual cue to remind us to pray.) The rosary is a set of prayers of the devotions of Mary and her focus on Christ. We pray to honor her for her holiness or asking for her intercession since she’s right up there with all the good folk. When we pray the rosary, there are different ‘mysteries’ of her and Jesus’s life we pray and ponder about…a meditation on how to try to bring that holiness into our own lives.

Saturday night we prayed the ‘Joyful Mysteries’. As we said them, I couldn’t help but apply them to Mama Bear’s life.

First Joyful Mystery: The Annunciation (The angel Gabriel appears before Mary and tells her of God’s gift if she wishes to accept…despite being unmarried, Mary says ‘yes’ and gives herself to God’s holy plan.) I can’t imagine how Mama Bear felt when the doctor ‘announced’ that she was pregnant. A young, unmarried woman. And despite the desires of others to rid herself of the baby, Mama Bear says ‘yes’ to life and chooses to bear her child.

Second Joyful Mystery: The Visitation (Mary visits her cousin Elizabeth, her calls her ‘blessed among women’). I can’t help but think that God blessed Mama Bear…in choosing to keep her child, she had to leave her family before they knew about her pregnancy. She didn’t have any one to support her, and during her pregnancy made the painful decision to give her child up for adoption. Just as Mary ‘gave’ her child to the world, Mama Bear offered her child to another family.

Third Joyful Mystery: The Nativity (Jesus is born.) Mama Bear goes into labor on her birthday, and three days later gives birth to BR…in strange and unwelcoming surroundings. What mixed emotions of fear and joy in giving birth. Joy at the birth of a precious and beautiful child, and fear of the unknown for the future. Mama Bear was given very little time to be with her son at birth, and held him briefly, kissing him on the forehead. BR has a small mark where Mama Bear gave him his first kiss.

Fourth Joyful Mystery: The Presentation (Jesus is presented by Mary and Joseph in the Temple forty days after his birth.) With an aching heart, Mama Bear ‘presents’ her child to a new family by allowing him to be adopted. A mother’s love in the utmost sense possible.

Fifth Joyful Mystery: The Finding in the Temple (Mary and Joseph find Jesus after three days of being ‘lost’.) This made me think of the joy Mama Bear must have felt when her son ‘found’ her after almost 30 years. Her heart must have felt ‘complete’. A lifetime of wondering and fear brought up to a pinnacle of happiness.

It’s no wonder Mama Bear had such a devotion to the Blessed Mother. I’m sure Mama Bear felt that Mary could truly understand her fears and hopes. Mary was a source of comfort to Mama Bear in those long, empty years.

And now Mama Bear’s son has returned her love…bless his heart, too, for the ache it must have. It echoes greatly one of the prayers with which we finish saying a rosary:

Hail, holy Queen
Mother of Mercy, our life, our sweetness, our hope
To thee do we pray, poor banished children of Eve.
To thee do we send up our sighs, mournings and weepings in this valley of tears.
Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us,
And after this, our exile, show unto us the most Blessed Fruit of thy Womb, Jesus.
Oh clement, oh loving, oh sweet Virgin Mary,
Pray for us, oh holy Mother of God,
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
Amen.

(Via email)

Have you ever heard that a dog ‘knows’ when an earthquake is about to hit?

Have you ever heard that a dog can ’sense’ when a tornado is stirring up, even 20 miles away?

Do you remember hearing that before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia, dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at breakneck speed?

Do you know that dogs can detect cancer and other serious illnesses and danger of fire?

And somehow they always know when they can ‘go for a ride’ before you even ask, and how do those dogs get home from hundreds of miles away?

I’m a firm believer that animals - especially dogs - have keen insights into the Truth.

And you can’t tell me that dogs can’t sense a potentially terrible disaster well in advance. Simply said, a dog just KNOWS when something isn’t right…when impending doom is upon us…they’ll try to warn us! That being said, we must heed this warning:

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